One day closer to the weekend, share one of these..
20 Goofy Status Updates:
- Don’t you wish karma was like pizza and could be delivered in under 30 minutes?
- Just because I’m smiling, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you in the face.
- Is the “S” or “C” in scent silent?
- Let your smile change the world but don’t let the world change your smile.
- Dora calls herself an “explorer,” but travels exclusively through mapped territories.
- S.T.R.E.S.S…= Sh*t. to. remember. every. single. second.
- Professor: what inspired you to write this essay?
Me: the due date
- Like my grandparents, one day I’ll tell my grandchildren what life was like in the 20’s & 30’s.
- “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people” is a quote that discusses people.
- Am I the only one who loves the smell of gasoline?
- A 2.0 student can know more than a 4.0 student. Grades don’t determine intelligence, they test obedience.
- On the bright side, I’m not addicted to heroin.
- You’re still going to get judged…so you may as well do what you want.
- I wonder what song The Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make that cute bikini top…
- The Internet is basically a teenager right now. It’s got all this potential, but the only thing it’s focused on is buying things, trying to be popular, and sex.
- Children of hipsters may choose to dress normally to rebel against their parents.
- I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won’t have to talk to them.
- Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
- Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
- That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH.
Funny Pics | Gifs | Videos | Yesterdays Status Updates
But, all I want is one more chip!
I don’t blame him, sometimes I don’t want to take a bath either.
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