Facebook Status Updates

Good Music, Cat High Fives, & 20 Ridiculous Status Updates

Editorial Team

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Make Monday fun, share one of these..

20 Ridiculous Status Updates:

You never really appreciate an unblocked nose until you have a blocked nose.
On the bright side, selfie sticks are also lightning rods.
I’m really over this working for a living shit.
Some of us are still “it” from a childhood game of tag.
Charging your phone for 5 minutes before you leave, because you think it will make a difference.
Slow runners make fast runners look good. You’re welcome.
When I was a kid and I wanted to be older, this sh*t was not what I expected.
On a scale of 1 to Nature Valley granola bar, how much is your life falling apart?
I’m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
The problem with drinking with people from work is they’re the ones I bitch about when I’m drunk.
I feel like A&E and MTV are in a secret competition to see who can discover the worst human being alive.
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
me: I’m going to bed early tonight.
me:
me: is that the sun
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard. You’re going to be OK. Here’s 6 million dollars and a beer.”
I can’t tell if I’m dealing well with life or just don’t give a shit anymore.
I think I figured out Victoria’s Secret. She’s hungry.
That awkward moment when you’re telling the truth but then you smile and no one believes you.
I don’t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that “dry clean only” is not a dare.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S: (F)ight for you. (R)espect you. (I)nvolve you. (E)ncourage you. (N)eed you. (D)eserve you. (S)ave you.
3 things I will never understand:
1. The meaning of life
2. The universe
3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box