Funny Statuses Updates for a Super Weekend

Don’t worry we’ve got something for everyone in this weekends update. So go ahead and make some friends laugh this weekend…

Awesome Status Updates for the Weekend:

  • Vegetarian: Native American definition for “lousy hunter”. (From our recently updated: 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iOS App)
  • What is this superb owl of which you speak?
  • Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.
  • Q: What do call a Steelers fan holding a bottle of champagne after Super Bowl XLV. A: Waiter
  • Football combines the two worst features of American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
  • YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! -Oprah Winfrey. Meteorologist ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
  • What’s another word for ‘thesaurus’?
  • If you see an onion ring…answer it!
  • Maybe if my bosses saw how many statuses I can drop in a day, they’d stop saying I’m unproductive.
  • What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?   A: to cover cows
  • We were without phone, TV and internet access for a few hours today. It was terrifying because I almost got some work done.
  • Note: All restaurants are drive-thru if you drive hard enough.
  • I won’t believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status.
  • It’s amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate.
  • What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.  (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Warning: the internet may contain traces of nuts.
  • I like to write “Wake Up” on my To-Do list so I can start the day off accomplishing something.

Facebook Wall Picture to Post:

Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel they sure can Facebook.

Funny Video to Post:


Bonus Video: Check out this banned superbowl commercial NSFW.  Hilarious!

Have a good safe weekend and type your favorite statuses in the comments! If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.