Funny Pet Vines, Lego Firewalk, & Witty Facebook Statuses

One of these is guaranteed to make you laugh, share the love…

Witty Facebook Statuses:

  1. Dear time, more weekend please.
  2. The problem with reading a good book is that you want to finish the book but you don’t want to finish the book.
  3. I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.
  4. Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
  5. Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9.
  6. My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
  7. From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
  8. I believe in love at first episode.
  9. I want to meet someone who makes me feel the way music does.
  10. Can someone love me please?
    No, not you.
  11. All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
  12. I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
  13. The plus side of having a facial tattoo is that fewer strangers probably want to chitchat with you about the weather.
  14. When your momma taught you to look both ways she didn’t mean be two faced.
  15. Ever accidentally throw something away and then later realize you actually needed it? I did this with my life.
  16. May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I’m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
  17. I don’t give my money to homeless people because I believe I’m going to buy booze with it.
  18. Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all equally valid, but one thing breaks the tie in favor of Christianity: grilled cheese with bacon.
  19. A person automatically turns ten times more attractive when you find out that they like you.
  20. Got a little too much sun today. I knew I should have closed the blinds.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Funny Pet Vines…

Well, that was a quick hour 😛

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