One of these is guaranteed to make you laugh, share the love…
Witty Facebook Statuses:
- Dear time, more weekend please.
- The problem with reading a good book is that you want to finish the book but you don’t want to finish the book.
- I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.
- Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
- Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9.
- My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
- From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
- I believe in love at first episode.
- I want to meet someone who makes me feel the way music does.
- Can someone love me please?
No, not you.
- All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
- I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
- The plus side of having a facial tattoo is that fewer strangers probably want to chitchat with you about the weather.
- When your momma taught you to look both ways she didn’t mean be two faced.
- Ever accidentally throw something away and then later realize you actually needed it? I did this with my life.
- May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I’m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
- I don’t give my money to homeless people because I believe I’m going to buy booze with it.
- Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all equally valid, but one thing breaks the tie in favor of Christianity: grilled cheese with bacon.
- A person automatically turns ten times more attractive when you find out that they like you.
- Got a little too much sun today. I knew I should have closed the blinds.
Funny Pet Vines…
Well, that was a quick hour 😛