Funniest Facebook Status Updates

True. We’ve got the funniest status updates in all of the land! Make yourself the local Facebook celebrity by posting these instant classics…

Funny Statuses:

  • Why aren’t there adult-sized playgrounds? (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.
  • The best way to get rid of a telemarketer is to ask them what they are wearing.
  • Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
  • If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery.
  • Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?”
  • So I’ve narrowed it down and I’m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
  • If it’s free, it’s advice; If you pay for it, it’s counseling; If you can use either one, it’s a miracle !
  • I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
  • Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
  • Dogs are tough. I’ve been interrogating this one for hours and he still won’t tell me who a good boy is. (VIA our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Life without bears would be unbearable.

Funny Picture to Post:

Funny Facebook Comment Gone Wrong

Bonus Funny Picture: The Money Michael Jordan Makes.

Hilarious Video to put on your FB Wall:


That video is a great conversation starter, LOL!

If you still need more funny statuses, awesome pics, and epic videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!