Fik-Shun Dance, Spider Sighting, and Awesome Status Ideas

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Awesome Facebook Status Posts:

  1. That awkward moment when you check the time on your phone, don’t remember what it said.
  2. I’m a responsible person. People are always saying “I know you’re responsible for this.”
  3. Tell someone, “You wore that shirt the day after yesterday” and see how long it takes them to get it.
  4. I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care.
  5. Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
  6. Are you a beaver? Cause dam.
  7. I decided to face reality today and I definitely won’t be doing that again anytime soon.
  8. I’m sorry I offended you when I called you a bitch, I honestly thought you knew.
  9. I’m having one of those days where when I get home I’m going to lean against the door, and slide down it while dramatically sighing.
  10. Exercise…ex…er…cise…..ex…ar…..size……eggs…are…sides….for bacon. Bacon.
  11. Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They laugh and call you something even more offensive.
  12. My room isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
  13. I’m sorry I keep looking at your chest while you’re talking. It’s just so beautiful. What is it, oak?
  14. I look at my phone every time I hear the text or ringtone sounds in commercials.
  15. I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
  16. “I’m a ninja!” “Dude no you’re not!” “Did you see me do that?” “Do what?” “Exactly.”
  17. Tombstone request: Born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin. The engraver shortened it to: ” Returned unopened.”
  18. I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the script.
  19. We all know a douche bag named Kyle.
  20. I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

When I see a Spider…

When I see a Spider

Share if you feel the same way!

This Kid CAN DANCE! His name is Fik-Shun and he’s awesome:

Welcome, to the interwebs, Fik-Shun!

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