Score more likes, share these…
Awesome Facebook Status Posts:
- That awkward moment when you check the time on your phone, don’t remember what it said.
- I’m a responsible person. People are always saying “I know you’re responsible for this.”
- Tell someone, “You wore that shirt the day after yesterday” and see how long it takes them to get it.
- I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care.
- Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
- Are you a beaver? Cause dam.
- I decided to face reality today and I definitely won’t be doing that again anytime soon.
- I’m sorry I offended you when I called you a bitch, I honestly thought you knew.
- I’m having one of those days where when I get home I’m going to lean against the door, and slide down it while dramatically sighing.
- Exercise…ex…er…cise…..ex…ar…..size……eggs…are…sides….for bacon. Bacon.
- Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They laugh and call you something even more offensive.
- My room isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
- I’m sorry I keep looking at your chest while you’re talking. It’s just so beautiful. What is it, oak?
- I look at my phone every time I hear the text or ringtone sounds in commercials.
- I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
- “I’m a ninja!” “Dude no you’re not!” “Did you see me do that?” “Do what?” “Exactly.”
- Tombstone request: Born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin. The engraver shortened it to: ” Returned unopened.”
- I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the script.
- We all know a douche bag named Kyle.
- I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
When I see a Spider…
Share if you feel the same way!
This Kid CAN DANCE! His name is Fik-Shun and he’s awesome:
Welcome, to the interwebs, Fik-Shun!