Fifteen Funny Statuses just for you!

Aloha!  Make your Facebook friends smile with these…

Great Status Updates for every occasion:

  1. War does not determine who is right – only who is left. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  2. The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.
  3. Do you find yourself saying “righty tighty and lefty loosey” when tightening or unscrewing anything?
  4. You should have to apply for a permit before you’re allowed to use the “Reply All” button.
  5. Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.
  6. I am actually quite pleasant until I’m awake. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  7. Just got on email from Myspace asking “Where Have You Been?” Well Myspace, it hasn’t been 2006 in awhile.
  8. I wonder if I’ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying “there’s one.”
  9. I may be getting older, but I’ve still got it. But lately, nobody wants to see it.
  10. Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie.
  11. “I’m Single ” doesn’t mean ” I’m looking for somebody “, just thought you should know.
  12. ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!
  13. Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects. Whenever I mention sex, they object.
  14. If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2? (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  15. Don’t you hate, waking up earlier than you were supposed to but being unable to fall back to sleep?  I hate that!

*BONUS* Grammar Lesson Status:

  • THEY’RE going THERE with THEIR friends. Seriously folks, it’s not rocket science.

Funny Picture to Post:

Creppers Gonna Creep

Post that one and wait for your Facebook friends captions and likes to multiply.

Guilty Dog with a Priceless Face:


Hahaha, I’m calling Viral Hit right there!  Remember where you saw it first 😉  Post that on your Facebook profile wall before all your friends see that one.  Classic!

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!