Favorite Parent, Netflix Addiction, and Party Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

Top 20 Party Time Status Updates:

  1. Oh, your in a relationship now? No more ‘LIKES’ for you!
  2. Last year, I asked Santa for the sexiest person alive for Christmas… I woke up in a box.
  3. If you hear someone sing Jingle Bells and you don’t respond with Batman smells then I don’t wanna be friends with you.
  4. If weed is ever legalized, I can’t wait to see the commercials.
  5. Mornings = Laziness.
    Afternoon = Dying for a rest.
    Night = Can’t sleep.
  6. When someone says “ten years ago” I think about the 90’s not 2003.
  7. Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in??
  8. That awkward moment when you’re alone with someone you just met.
  9. Imagine if Drake and Taylor Swift were in a relationship and then broke up.
  10. In America she’s called “Miley” Cyrus, but in other countries she’s called “What America would be like if it were a person”.
  11. A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon….
  12. Part of me says I can’t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, “Don’t listen to that guy. He’s drunk.”
  13. My boyfriends favorite time of the year isn’t christmas… it’s playoffs :/
  14. Studies show it’s totally okay for me to just say “studies show” in front of whatever I want to say.
  15. If you say “That reminds me of a good story,” I automatically think “This story’s gonna suck.”
  16. For Sale: Parachute. Used once. Never opened. Small stain…
  17. I make a great second impression.
  18. Still impressed with the dogs ability to play it cool about having eight nipples.
  19. Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
  20. Cop behind me just turned. Best unfollow ever.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Best Stocking Stuffer Under $25

You Win Netflix…

Who’s Your Favorite Parent??? (Hilarious!)


Silly dad, mum always wins out 😉

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