Make your weekend last longer, share these…
Top 20 Party Time Status Updates:
- Oh, your in a relationship now? No more ‘LIKES’ for you!
- Last year, I asked Santa for the sexiest person alive for Christmas… I woke up in a box.
- If you hear someone sing Jingle Bells and you don’t respond with Batman smells then I don’t wanna be friends with you.
- If weed is ever legalized, I can’t wait to see the commercials.
- Mornings = Laziness.
Afternoon = Dying for a rest.
Night = Can’t sleep.
- When someone says “ten years ago” I think about the 90’s not 2003.
- Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in??
- That awkward moment when you’re alone with someone you just met.
- Imagine if Drake and Taylor Swift were in a relationship and then broke up.
- In America she’s called “Miley” Cyrus, but in other countries she’s called “What America would be like if it were a person”.
- A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon….
- Part of me says I can’t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, “Don’t listen to that guy. He’s drunk.”
- My boyfriends favorite time of the year isn’t christmas… it’s playoffs :/
- Studies show it’s totally okay for me to just say “studies show” in front of whatever I want to say.
- If you say “That reminds me of a good story,” I automatically think “This story’s gonna suck.”
- For Sale: Parachute. Used once. Never opened. Small stain…
- I make a great second impression.
- Still impressed with the dogs ability to play it cool about having eight nipples.
- Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
- Cop behind me just turned. Best unfollow ever.
You Win Netflix…
Who’s Your Favorite Parent??? (Hilarious!)
Silly dad, mum always wins out 😉