More likes per share, with these…
Cool Facebook Status Posts:
- Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
- Do you ever wonder if anyone reads your profile like everyday just to check on you?
- Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
- If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it’s about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic.
- The only color I judge people by is the color of their teeth.
- College, I really miss you.
- Have you ever just stopped and realized that if you hadn’t met a certain person in your life, your life would be completely different.
- When you’re in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think “They’re killing my family, and I’ll have to fight the attacker naked…”
- Whenever I want a klondike bar I just pay for it.
- Mirror: “You look cute today”. Camera: “Lol, no”. Instagram filters: “I got chu”
- The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by “the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing.”
- Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
- I still think 1990 was 10 years ago.
- Just because I’m being quiet, that doesn’t mean I’m mad. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood to talk.
- I’m a bitch? You’re a bitch. Your mom’s a bitch for having a bitch, your dad’s a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who’s the bitch? Bitch.
- Reasons why I stop replying: 1) I’m busy. 2) You’re boring. 3) I’m mad. 4) You replied with one word. 5) I’m on Instagram. 6) I’m eating.
- Hardest thing ever? Controlling your laughter at serious times.
- I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 73 of them.
- “Dammit I’m mad” is the same if you spell it backwards.
- Once a year I do cardio, the other 364 days of the year I do couch squats.
Someone said you have fast internet? Is it this fast…
That lil’ guy is BLAZING fast internet 🙂 just can’t stop staring at him for some random reason.
Guy Covers Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” on 2 Nokia Cell Phones:
Can your iPhone do that?