Facebook Status Updates

MJ Prank, Never Work, & 20 Fantastic Status Updates

Editorial Team

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Get over hump day, share one of these…

20 Fantastic Status Updates:

It’s easier to stay awake till 6 AM, than to wake-up at 6AM.
Never laugh at your girlfriend’s choices…you’re one of them.
Has anyone actually got Salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?
I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or living life to the fullest.
Quick shout out to everyone who is doing worse than me. Thanks for the confidence boost.
“Lazy” is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to “mcnugget” a chicken?
No headphones = you can talk to me.
1 headphone = you talk to me if you like.
2 headphones = you can talk to me, but I’m not listening.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
Who needs drugs when mac ‘n’ cheese exists?
Date someone who you can be weird as hell with who at the end of the day still wants to get naked with you.
Every time somebody ask me what is my favorite movie or my favorite song, suddenly, I forget every song or movie Ive seen in my f*cking life.
I have no motivation to do anything anymore. I wish I could just stay in bed and sleep for like two months.
I never ever delete messages… just in case someone decides to start acting different like you weren’t saying that May 14, 2013 at 1:22 PM.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
Why is it I barely have any signal in my house but the Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan?
Smart is sexy.
Education is important but happy hour is importanter.
75% of couples stay together because they don’t want to have to go to the gym.
The Send All function should require another person to key in a code like you would for a nuclear launch.