Working Sucks, Fake Lie Detector, & 20 Clever Status Updates

Make someone blow a little air out of their nose, share one of these..

20 Clever Facebook Status Updates:

  1. There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
  2. I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
  3. me: ok I’ll study at 8:00
    clock: 8:00
    me: *pretends I didn’t see*
  4. I just want to lie in bed and not participate in life.
  5. Having read receipts on your iPhone is the quickest way to ruin a relationship.
  6. Some days are just not meant to be productive.
  7. Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
  8. Study tip:
    • Stand up
    • Stretch
    • Take a walk
    • Go to the airport
    • Get on a plane
    • Never return
  9. I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
  10. Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
  11. I’d rather be abroad.
  12. No pants are the best pants.
  13. Need a half hour of quiet time? Ask her for a selfie.
  14. I can’t figure out if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
  15. Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who’s not interested.
  16. You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
  17. I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
  18. My Wife is also my ex-girlfriend.
  19. When a browser asks “Would you like to remember this password?” there ought to be a button that says “Only if it works”.
  20. The only time you would say a vacuum sucks is when it doesn’t.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Fake Lie Detector on a Kid..

The ending was hilarious, I lost it! Please feel free to Like/Share if you enjoyed.

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