Make someone blow a little air out of their nose, share one of these..
20 Clever Facebook Status Updates:
- There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
- I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
- me: ok I’ll study at 8:00
me: *pretends I didn’t see*
- I just want to lie in bed and not participate in life.
- Having read receipts on your iPhone is the quickest way to ruin a relationship.
- Some days are just not meant to be productive.
- Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
- Study tip:
• Stand up
• Take a walk
• Go to the airport
• Get on a plane
• Never return
- I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
- Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
- I’d rather be abroad.
- No pants are the best pants.
- Need a half hour of quiet time? Ask her for a selfie.
- I can’t figure out if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
- Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who’s not interested.
- You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
- I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
- My Wife is also my ex-girlfriend.
- When a browser asks “Would you like to remember this password?” there ought to be a button that says “Only if it works”.
- The only time you would say a vacuum sucks is when it doesn’t.
Fake Lie Detector on a Kid..
The ending was hilarious, I lost it! Please feel free to Like/Share if you enjoyed.
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