Nokia Phones, Cat Heater, and Quality Facebook Humor

Editorial Team

558

Get over Hump Day. Share one of these..

Quality Facebook Status Humor:

The most depressing part of the day is watching as the sky gradually gets darker and knowing that you’ve done absolutely nothing productive.
Do you ever want to punch yourself in the face for liking someone a lot?
I can’t remember what it’s like to have a normal sleep schedule.
“I miss those ice-bucket challenge videos.” -nobody
There’s no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
Dance like no one is watching. Drink like no one is watching, too.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
I can’t stand it when people don’t know the difference between your and you’re. There so stupid.
Dentists need cooler shit on their ceilings.
If you ever see me out somewhere and I don’t have my phone in my hand, it’s not me.
I walk away from auto-flush toilets like movie stars walk away from explosions.
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
When your momma taught you to look both ways she didn’t mean be two faced.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
Ever accidentally throw something away and then later realize you actually needed it?
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of shit, I want you to as well.
It’s not that I can’t sleep – I just really need to time to consider EVERY POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN. EVER.
Do you guys remember how in the 90’s we had a room in our houses called “the computer room”?
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it’s Love.
You can find me in the club, asking everyone I came with if they are ready to leave yet.