Facebook these days, Surprised Hamster, and Stupid Funny Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…

20 Stupid Funny Facebook Status Updates:

  1. Pizza is the only love triangle I ever want.
  2. I’m so glad I was young and stupid BEFORE there were camera phones.
  3. A bed is not a bed unless it has at least 7 pillows.
  4. I’m that type of friend you can tell anything too but I won’t know how to respond and will probably just pat you on the head.
  5. I get re-pissed about old situations whenever I start thinking about them again.
  6. I’m probably not the first person to notice, but the plots of “Finding Nemo” and “Taken” are virtually identical.
  7. Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
  8. Too many people stop at average.
  9. A guy just yelled at me for texting and driving. I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business.
  10. I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
  11. I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you … even you.
  12. I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
  13. Listen, I’m sorry… That reaction was WAY over the line…. I actually have no problem with the horse you rode in on.
  14. I have no extra space in my head to cram bullshit. You keep it.
  15. Instead of “single” as a marital status, it should read “independently owned and operated”
  16. Never look for leftover fireworks in your car with a lighter. Good news is I now have a sunroof.
  17. Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
  18. How do bats hang upside down without shitting on themselves?
  19. Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that’s not already taken.
  20. If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Facebook these days…

Funny because it’s true.

Surprised Hamster…

The video delivered on it’s promise.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Please check back on Monday for more funny status updates!