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Clever Statuses that make your friends laugh:
- I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
- The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
- I forgot that my one friend was a vegan because he went a whole conversation without mentioning it.
- The difference between running for President and working at McDonalds is that if you lie on your McDonalds application you’re disqualified.
- The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.
- Kids are like farts, you can only tolerate your own.
- Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house…
- Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.
- Stuck in a generation where loyalty is just a tattoo, love is just a quote and lying is the new truth.
- Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
- Before you start anything, learn how to finish it.
- That “Like a boss” moment when you throw something in the trash and make it in.
- I hate math… But I love counting money.
Monkey Operates Vending Machine…
Only a matter of time before Planet of the Apes is a reality 😉