EPIC Kiss Cam, Snowpocalypse, & Killer Status Posts

Pick, Post, and watch the likes roll in…

20 Killer Facebook Status Posts:

  1. I always wrap someone’s fist bump with my high five because paper beats rock.
  2. Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
  3. The slow motion scene where the person walks away from an explosion but it’s me walking away from self checkout without needing assistance.
  4. Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
  5. The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
  6. Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.
  7. 1 in every 3 people is ugly! So, look to your right, then to your left. If they aren’t, guess what?
  8. THIS JUST IN: The sun came out and dried up all the rain. No sign of Itsy. Spider family worried. For details tune in tonight at 5
  9. If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.
  10. Don’t bother flirting with the girl from accounting, she knows how much money you really make.
  11. It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
  12. Look closely at the word “OK” it’s a sideways person.
  13. I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
  14. Actually it only takes me 1 drink to get drunk. The trouble is I can’t remember if it’s the 13th or 14th.
  15. That mini heart attack you have when you send a text to the wrong person.
  16. Marriage is grand; divorce, a hundred grand.
  17. Really had my heart set on waking up rich today.
  18. The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
  19. Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
  20. Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Splashy Fish on Android (just like Flappy Bird!)

EPIC Kiss Cam (Wait for it!)


Well played, sir! Good job with the extra preparation and making us wait for it 🙂 Share if you thought that was hilarious.

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