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Classic Facebook Status Updates:
- That awkward moment when your friend is friends with the person you hate.
- Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
- I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
- My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
- If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.
- Some days I just wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
- The only difference between a collector and a hoarder is the station the show is on.
- I’m no mathematician, but I’d say about 46% of the popcorn I grab at a movie theater ends up in my mouth.
- Every day since Chumbawumba broke up, I’ve found it harder and harder to get back up again.
- My son can now reach the light switches so don’t come over my house unless you’re really into raves or want to have a seizure.
- There’s always that one song that makes you want to dance.
- Kiss me if I’m wrong. But dinosaurs still exist right?
- I’d rather volunteer myself for tribute in the hunger games, than go to school tomorrow.
- There’s no “we” in food.
Get the heck away from me.
- Thank you music, for being there when no one else was.
- Dear Tostitos, make your dip jars shorter and wider so your chips can actually fit inside them. Thanks
- It can take me anywhere between 0.02 seconds and 3 days to reply to a text.
- If you got attacked by a bunch of homeless people would you be bummed?
- When the I in “I love you” becomes more important than the “you,” the word in the middle just fades away.
- My whole life is just “oh ok”.
Overly Friendly Elephant gets a little overly friendly…
Baby Elephants are cute and curious, what can we say?
Burger Flipping in Singapore is an ART:
Whoa, that is some skillful Burger flipping. I don’t think you’ll see this at your local McDonalds anytime soon.