Ed Sheeran, Killer Dance Moves, and Awesome Facebook Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…

Awesome Facebook Status Updates:

  1. I wish my car had two horns. One for “thank you” and one for “I hate you”
  2. 6+3=9 but so does 5+4
    The way you do things is not always the only way to do them.
    Respect other people’s way of thinking.
  3. I’ve taken off my pants in most malls that I’ve been to.
  4. My parents taught me not to eat everything you see in nature.
    The first lesson I will teach my kids is that you don’t click on every link you see on the internet.
  5. Having celebrity crushes is better than having real life crushes because at least you know for a fact that you don’t have a chance.
  6. I may be 70% water but the other 30% is thug as hell.
  7. Biggest regret is defending someone for so long thinking they’re different but then slowly realizing they’re exactly how others say they are.
  8. My Ex is living proof of how stupid I can be.
  9. My mouth automatically says “shit” when something goes wrong.
  10. The best nights are the ones you never plan.
  11. I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you, get ready for some crazy shit.
  12. Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
  13. Relationships are like roller coasters. Not because they go up and down, but sometimes they leave you in the dark and can be scary as shit.
  14. LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
  15. F*ck it…2016 will be my year.
  16. My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
  17. Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
  18. In a game of tag Kanye just walks around reminding kids that he’s still it.
  19. This century is already 15% over.
  20. The dwarves eat all of Bilbo’s food at the beginning of The Hobbit so it doesn’t spoil while he’s gone.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Little Kid Has Interesting Wedding Dance…

I’ve got to learn how to do that one 😉 So funny! Feel free to like or share if you enjoyed.

Have a great weekend! Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. See you on Monday 🙂