Score more Monday Likes, share these…
Monday Facebook Statuses:
- The longest minutes are always spent in front of the microwave.
- If I ever write a love song it will be about a guy who doesn’t snore and loves to cook.
- “Does size matter?” “Yes I told you 2 inches makes a huge difference. Now just buy the damn laptop dad, this conversation is creeping me out”.
- Do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while?
- I don’t understand people who only sleep with one pillow.
- If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- Only in America would they name a State after a bucket of fried chicken.
- You haven’t experienced awkward until you’ve tried tickling someone who isn’t ticklish.
- Good thing I’m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.
- Things that scare me:
3. Drawn on eye brows
- A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
- What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
- Unless you’re music, I don’t want to listen to you in the morning.
- In awkward situations, we all pretend to text.
- Have you noticed that the symbol “&” looks like a man dragging his ass across the floor?
- Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions… chocolate understands.
- I would lose weight… but I hate losing.
- Well, I’m off to club Bed. Featuring DJ Pillow and Mc Blanky.
- LIKE and see what happens!
Cutest Stretch EvAr:
That felt Goooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddd! Now your turn.
LOL, She’s so cute! Love dem cheerios!