DollarFish, Starving Writers, & Funny Statuses

Make your Facebook Friends laugh…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Dishwashers should have windows.
  • Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
  • Visa is everywhere you want to be…except out of debt.
  • “I don’t feel like it,” should be an acceptable, no questions asked, excuse for anything.
  • That awkward moment when someone isn’t txting you back and then you see them update their status from mobile…
  • What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
  • “I can neither confirm or deny…” In my book, that’s a yes.
  • Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.
  • The awkward moment when you make eye contact with someone while eating a banana.
  • They really need to add a “download this song illegally” button on Pandora.
  • Constipated people don’t give a crap.
  • If I eat my entire  Ice Cream in the car before I get home, it’s basically like it never happened.
  • A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office.
  • You know you’re invisible when the automatic faucet rejects you. (From our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what about humanitarians?

Thousands More Funny Status Updates…

The Awesome Dollarfish:


That one is a real conversation starter on Facebook… Post that and get tons of comments/likes!

Starving Writer:


Post that one on your Facebook Wall and watch the comments and likes flood in!

Want more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome *NEW* Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!