Score more likes, share these…
20 Amazing Facebook Status Updates:
- I’m not antisocial. It’s just that most people don’t make the cut.
- It’s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops.
- Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.
- Ugh, do I have to?
- First world problems: I couldn’t hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.
- “I don’t watch TV” proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.
- That awkward moment when someone tries to correct you on something you clearly know more about.
- If you guys ever need anything always remember I’m just an unanswered phone call away.
- OMG this is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press ‘Recently Dialed’ & the name of your crush will appear!
- If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
- Do you guys ever just stare into the sunset and think: I locked the door, right?
- I hope those commercials about the trans-vaginal mesh have helped enough people to make up for the amount of trauma they’ve inflicted on me.
- Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
- A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I’m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
- Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
- Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
- You and I make perfect nonsense.
- I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
- Can’t believe I grew up for this.
- Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
Dog Wins Race… In a Different Way…
That’s a bully dog! Winning the race through fear and intimidation 😛