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Hilarious Facebook Statuses:
- Nicknames are WAY more fun when people don’t know they have them.
- Disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
- I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.
- Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
- It’s a good thing the fate of mankind doesn’t depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try.
- A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
- When I die, I’d like the word ‘Humble’ to be written. …….on my statue.
- OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
- The awkward moment when you catch yourself singing a song that you’re supposed to hate.
- My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family… They seem like nice people.
- Can I unfollow my problems?
- Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
- Saying “you’re welcome” really loud when someone doesn’t say “thanks”.
- Do the Chinese realize that when they’re visiting America, they buy souvenirs made in their own country?
- A walk of shame is always sad. Don’t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
- Hey there, vegan on an iphone, do you know how many monkeys got shot into space so you could enjoy satellite technology?
- The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
- I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. The list of people I’m going to haunt grows every day.
- Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
- A movie ticket for baby should cost at least $50.
Dog Vs. Leafblower (Video):
LOL! That dog sure hates that leafblower, especially now 🙂
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