Devil Baby Attack, Backpack Bunny, & Ace Status Posts

Bits of humor to make your day better, share these…

20 Ace Status Posts:

1. After searching Justin Bieber’s house, police say his only crime is calling what he does music.
2. I want rich people problems.
   Like where to land my private jet.
3. You only know everything if you ask the right questions.
4. I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
5. The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
6. How much time did you spend on your hair before you took a selfie of your boobs?
7. I can’t wait till Valentine’s Day finally passes so I can start dating again.
8. The amount of big words I use incorrectly to try and sound smart is stammering.
9. It’s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your shit together, every other vegetable.
10. If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
11. One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
12. Nobody wants a job, we all just want money.
13. That awkward moment when you’re actually telling the truth, but you’re laughing so everyone thinks you’re lying.
14. Me: I’m gonna lose weight.
    Me: I’m gonna exercise every day.
    Me: I’m gonna go on a diet and stick to it.
    Me: Is that cake?
15. Constipation is like teenage love: can’t sleep, can’t eat, and it hurts when it leaves you.
16. If I ever got a box of Lucky Charms that was all marshmallows I’d kill myself because nothing else would ever be cool after that.
17. The worst part about being introduced to new people is the panic moment where I think “Pay attention! Pay attention!!!” and miss their name.
18. I’d tell you what I’m doing but I’ve learned from other evil villains not to announce my plans first.
19. I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
20. Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Adorbs! You’re going to need that Backpack bunny before watching this one…

Devil Baby Prank (Warning: Scary!)

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUKMUZ4tlJg[/youtube]

I would flip the heck out if I saw that! Crazy. Thankfully it’s fake.