Pick something that fits your situation, share these…
20 Really Good Facebook Statuses:
- Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
- What wine goes with Rice Krispies?
- If you’re not a dog person, I’m not a you person.
- Okay. If we get caught, pretend we don’t speak English!
- I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullshit.
- I’m so glad there are directions on how to dry my hands on the dryer. Otherwise,I might’ve just wiped my wet hands on the person next to me.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers.
I’m willing to bet that more kisses begin with booze.
- Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
- My three favorite guys: Jack, Jim, Jose
- Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, It makes you lean …. against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
- When cops do that thing where they park side by side in an empty parking lot and talk for hours, that means they’re in love, right?
- Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
- Wearing my robe backward and pretending that it’s a snuggie.
- Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
- Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me all like, “Whoa! That was close!”
- Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
- Making mirrors look good, since 1985.
- I might hate my period…but I’m glad I never have to hide a boner.
- So what was the best thing before sliced bread?
- The great thing about living in a small town is even if you don’t know what you’re doing someone else always does.
Dog Siren is Defective…
Howwwwwllllllllll, that’s good enough in my book! Share if you enjoyed.