That Dance, Dog Pranked, and Random Statuses

Happy Friday, share one these…

20 Random Hilarious Facebook Statuses:

  1. Even the short weeks feel long.
  2. I love those friends whom you can go months without talking to but when you do, it’s like you’ve never been apart.
  3. I’m actually a really nice person… Until you annoy me.
  4. She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
  5. Keep your spirits up! You don’t want to spill your drink.
  6. If the microwave beeps, I feel like I’ve lost.
  7. I remember when trolling meant calling random numbers from your home phone and asking people if their refrigerator was running.
  8. Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
  9. Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.
  10. If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
  11. Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical…really…it’s like the trash took itself out.
  12. Police dog is K-9 (canine). If cats were trained they would be K-10 (kitten)
  13. If your hands don’t look like you just delivered a baby when you finish eating wings….not enough hot sauce.
  14. I hate to invite relatives over to the house because they are harder to get rid of than Adobe updates.
  15. I realize that I’m obviously not learning from my mistakes….I still get up every morning and go to work.
  16. Hell hath no fury like a woman who’s not eating carbs.
  17. I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
  18. I can’t look you in the face when your talking out your ass.
  19. Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
  20. “Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Dog Gets Pranked…

Even mans best friend is susceptible to a little prank here and there 🙂

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