Get through Tuesday, share one of these…
Smile Worthy Facebook Status Updates:
- So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? “Bob hurt one bird. He’s very sorry.”
- With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
- Do you ever play a song and then realize you were too distracted to appreciate the beauty of the song so you replay it?
- Don’t judge a book by its movie.
- My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
- Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying “Google that shit!”
- The success of a marriage hinges entirely on the ability to know which of your wife’s clothing is okay to go into the dryer.
- I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me… from me.
- When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
- I hate when people ask u “do you drink?” Like of course I drink I have water every day and when I really want to loosen up a bit I have a juice box. Sheesh.
- The awkward moment when you remember something but you don’t know if it was real or just a dream.
- I carry a backpack full of receipts and gum wrappers and go through it while I’m at a cashier until someone who’s frustrated pays for me.
- The clearer your conscience, the more likely you are to answer a call from an unknown number.
- I think it’s time for some of you to put down the urban dictionary and perhaps pick up a real one.
- I’m so lazy, my snooze button just hit me.
- Bad Day? Remember there are folks who have their ex’s name tattooed on their body.
- My bank card has this awesome theft protection where it just says “declined” whenever you use it.
- Text Flirting Tip: Don’t reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything.
- Why do single women take advice from other single women? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.
- Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I’m the asshole for tripping him??
Dance Dance Revolution…
Sorry for the security footage quality but, he’s much like the Sasquatch… people talk about him but, nobody can confirm if he’s real or not.