Same Shirt, Cute Karate Kid, & Ridiculous Facebook Statuses

Make someones day, share one of these..

20 Ridiculous Facebook Statuses:

  1. Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
  2. I either want to spend my day going out & doing stuff with friends or I want to spend it in bed with zero human contact. No in between.
  3. The only math I care about:
    You + Me – Clothes + Pizza + Nutella = LOVE
  4. I don’t understand decaf coffee. It’s like sex without the sex.
  5. You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?
  6. That awkward moment when you’re talking about someone and they’re right behind you.
  7. People who make me laugh until I’m physically in pain are my favorite kind of people.
  8. Ironically the only way I’d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
  9. Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they’re making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first.
  10. Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met? “Well, it all started one day when your dad ‘liked’ one of my selfies.”
  11. Here’s the thing, you will never ever feel like a grown up. You will one day though, feel old.
  12. me: *gets anxious over nothing*
    me: wait this is stupid everything is fine
    me: wait
    me: but what if its not
  13. People who type awe when you mean aww, look up the definition of awe. I’ll wait. Yeah, see? So stop doing that.
  14. My lemonade contains artificial flavoring. My laundry detergent contains real lemons. F*ck everything.
  15. Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” is a swear word.
  16. First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.
  17. When you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
  18. I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
  19. What if our entire universe is just in a tiny glass jar placed neatly on a shelf in an alien child’s room as a science project.
  20. Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you’ve been under water for too long.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Cute Karate Kid Video..

That’s one disciplined and adorable kid! She’s going to be

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