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Clever Statuses for Facebook:
- All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.
- We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours.
- Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.
- 4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot to reduce their fractions.
- Humor is of two types – below the belt and above the forehead.
- I’m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
- Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep.
- Before you decide to spend less time on social media, make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
- Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
- THE BEST KINDS OF LAUGHTER:
1. Laughing so hard your laugh becomes silent.
2. Feeling a 6 pack coming.
3. Tears coming out of your eyes.
- I’ve always wondered why W is called Double U, when it’s clearly Double V.
- Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you.
- The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
- It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t like myself when I’m around you.
- Quick, how can you unmeet someone?
- A co-worker has stopped acknowledging me in the hallway. Please tell me what I did to make you want to ignore me, so I can do it to others.
- I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
- I’m sorry we fought. I hate it when you’re wrong.
- The truth is, men put the lids on jars that tight so you’d need us, we’re not that stupid.
- Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning.
Two things about puppies, they are always cute and always curious!
KittEh Enjoys Fire:
Kitty enjoys fire for 1 hour of goodness.
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Check back tomorrow for the best status updates of 2013 taking us into 2014 on New Years Eve.