Get over hump day, share one of these…
20 Smart Facebook Status Updates:
- My life is like a Lamborghini. It’s going too fast, and it costs too much.
- I’m sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the same way you treat everyone all the time.
- Don’t just bend the rules, break them in half and beat them with both pieces.
- I didn’t realize growing up meant dying inside but hey it’s whatever.
- Do you ever like a celebrity so much you actually get jealous when other people say they like them?
- I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line…
- The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
- I’m so sick and tired of my friends who can’t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three times while carrying me to the car.
- Only a fool trips on what’s behind him.
- Step up in the club like, wait I gotta check-in and tag us in Facebook.
- Orgasms are a lot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don’t really care if you don’t have any pizza.
- People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life.
- In the future, I’ll tell my grandchildren that I’m older than the internet thus blowing their minds forever.
- I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I’m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
- Wife: Hey babe! How’s your “Boy’s Night Out” going?
Me: Don’t hang up! They say I only get one phone call..
- “Make the little things count”…you want me to teach midgets math?
- If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
- The best kinds of laughter: Laughing so hard your laugh becomes silent.
- Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
- When you’re dead, you don’t realize you’re dead; it’s only really difficult for the people around you. Kind of like when you’re stupid.
Typical Crossfit Workout:
That looks about right. Glad they share all their workouts on Facebook so we can benefit from them.