Cristiano Ronaldo Surprises Kid, Missing You, and Crazy Facebook Statuses.

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20 Crazy Facebook Statuses:

It’s sad how the death of one earpiece of your headphones leaves the other to a life of neglect & uselessness for no fault of its own.
Let’s play a game called how far can I lean off the bed to grab the thing I want.
The struggle not to roll my eyes at people when they talk is so real.
Home is where you’re Player 1.
I spend an unusual amount of time trying to figure out where the bruises on my legs come from.
If you’re going to act like a piece of shit, go lay in the yard.
A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
Shouting “Yes!” and “Yeah!” during sex is perfectly normal, but shouting “Yep!” would make it incredibly awkward.
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
If Wikipedia wanted to reach the donation goal quicker, they should hold “blackouts” around exam weeks.
I binge-watch whole seasons of a TV show in a weekend, but send me a video that’s eight minutes long, and I’m like “come on, really?”
Face: “You’re ugly”
Body: “You’re fat”
Brain: “You’re stupid”
Life: “You suck”
Food: “Come here babe, you’ll be happy with me”
That awkward moment when you have to stare at a text for five minutes to figure out how to reply.
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
Nopants are the best pants.
If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.
What if Disney Animation made Frozen just so a Google search of “Walt Disney Frozen” wouldn’t be the top result about the man himself.