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20 Crazy Facebook Statuses:
- It’s sad how the death of one earpiece of your headphones leaves the other to a life of neglect & uselessness for no fault of its own.
- Let’s play a game called how far can I lean off the bed to grab the thing I want.
- The struggle not to roll my eyes at people when they talk is so real.
- Home is where you’re Player 1.
- I spend an unusual amount of time trying to figure out where the bruises on my legs come from.
- If you’re going to act like a piece of shit, go lay in the yard.
- A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”
- In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
- Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
- USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
- Shouting “Yes!” and “Yeah!” during sex is perfectly normal, but shouting “Yep!” would make it incredibly awkward.
- Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
- If Wikipedia wanted to reach the donation goal quicker, they should hold “blackouts” around exam weeks.
- I binge-watch whole seasons of a TV show in a weekend, but send me a video that’s eight minutes long, and I’m like “come on, really?”
- Face: “You’re ugly”
Body: “You’re fat”
Brain: “You’re stupid”
Life: “You suck”
Food: “Come here babe, you’ll be happy with me”
- That awkward moment when you have to stare at a text for five minutes to figure out how to reply.
- The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
- Nopants are the best pants.
- If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.
- What if Disney Animation made Frozen just so a Google search of “Walt Disney Frozen” wouldn’t be the top result about the man himself.
Cristiano Ronaldo surprises a kid on a Madrid’s street:
That is so awesome! The excitement when he reveals himself is amazing. Share/Like if you agree.
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