Crazy Car Vent, Expensive Clothing, and 20 Thoughtful Status Updates.

Score more likes this Monday, share these…

20 Thoughtful Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. Every day this week is going be the same backwards:
    4/12/14
    4/13/14
    4/14/14
    4/15/14
    4/16/14
    4/17/14
    4/18/14
    4/19/14 #mindblown
  2. I wish I were a koala so I could sleep for 22 hours a day and eat for 2 hours.
  3. The best thing about being single is all the sleeping around you can do…I can sleep all over my bed!
  4. I’ve enjoyed giving presentations at work a lot more since I started communicating exclusively through interpretive dance.
  5. The stock market’s too volatile, I got my money in Jamba Juice gift cards.
  6. I don’t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He’s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here.
  7. I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
  8. People with 1 syllable names  ruin the happy birthday song.
  9. Ok jerk, just go around me. I’m already doing 20 over the limit, I’m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights.
  10. Google image results are like a party that starts off exactly how you expected and gets weirder the longer you stay.
  11. Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
  12. Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we’re liking Facebook posts as fast as we can.
  13. People who say they are never on Facebook are usually the ones furiously refreshing.
  14. If you’re gonna rattle my cage, you best make sure I’m padlocked in it.
  15. Today is National Take Your Flask To Work Day. I just made it up. Tell the others.
  16. It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
  17. Someone asked me how much love was worth and I couldn’t answer because alimony is calculated differently in each state.
  18. Teach a man to fish and he’ll be like “Cool, thanks!” Teach a woman to fish and she’ll be like “You’re doing it wrong.”
  19. “Marry your best friend,” they say. “Don’t marry a cat,” they say. Make up your minds!
  20. The decline of civilization started when they stopped putting toys in boxes of cereal.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

When you see clothes you like and you check the price tag…

Unfortunately, I know that feeling all too well.

Car Vent has an interesting feature…

I feel like that car is now ready for take off. What would you do if that was in your car? I’d probably show all my friends.

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