Be witty and score more likes, share these…
Weird Facebook Statuses:
- The best revenge is living a kick ass life.
- Everybody has a friend that is completely different when they’re not under female supervision.
- Keep refreshing my snapchat just to watch the little ghost dance.
- “Jayus” is an Indonesian word for a joke so poorly told and so bad, you can’t help but laugh at it.
- When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say “Are you ready to take this shit to a whole new level?”
- I did as you said and saved the drama for my momma but now my mom wants to talk to your mom. I think you’re in trouble.
- “I’m going to bed” really means “I’m going to lay in my bed and be on my phone for an hour or so.”
- Marriage is like a public toilet.Those waiting outside are desperate to get in.Those inside are desperate to get out
- I will ignore you so hard you will start to doubt your own existense.
- Fat people like hashtags because they look like waffles. #
- If you never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from hot lava then you didn’t have a childhood.
- You’re cute, so I’m going to act awkward.
- Remember Hey Arnold? Rugrats? CatDog? Rocket Power? Kenan & Kel? The Amanda Show?… When Nickelodeon made sense.
- Be strong.” I whispered to my wifi signal.
- (._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.) They see me rolling. They hating.
- I hate how after an argument I think of all the clever stuff I should have said.
- If someone ever tells you “we need to talk” they dont care about anything you have to say.
- When you’re asked “How are you?” and you respond with anything but “good” it always becomes awkward.
- When people ask me for music or movie suggestions, I always give them crappy one’s, so that way they’ll never come to me for advice again.
- The only reason my heart appears cold and black is because I have my real heart locked in an indestrucible black heart shaped box and cryogenically frozen to prevent further damage.
Adorable Dog Mustache:
That’s all natural, baby! Check him out as a puppy. Adorbs!
The Crazy Canadian Border Visualized:
Wow, didn’t find out about this in history class. If you thought that was utterly fascinating (whether you’re American or Canadian) please share!