Crazy Canada, Mustache Dog, & Weird Statuses

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Weird Facebook Statuses:

  1. The best revenge is living a kick ass life.
  2. Everybody has a friend that is completely different when they’re not under female supervision.
  3. Keep refreshing my snapchat just to watch the little ghost dance.
  4. “Jayus” is an Indonesian word for a joke so poorly told and so bad, you can’t help but laugh at it.
  5. When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say “Are you ready to take this shit to a whole new level?”
  6. I did as you said and saved the drama for my momma but now my mom wants to talk to your mom. I think you’re in trouble.
  7. “I’m going to bed” really means “I’m going to lay in my bed and be on my phone for an hour or so.”
  8. Marriage is like a public toilet.Those waiting outside are desperate to get in.Those inside are desperate to get out
  9. I will ignore you so hard you will start to doubt your own existense.
  10. Fat people like hashtags because they look like waffles. #
  11. If you never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from hot lava then you didn’t have a childhood.
  12. You’re cute, so I’m going to act awkward.
  13. Remember Hey Arnold? Rugrats? CatDog? Rocket Power? Kenan & Kel? The Amanda Show?… When Nickelodeon made sense.
  14. Be strong.” I whispered to my wifi signal.
  15. (._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.) They see me rolling. They hating.
  16. I hate how after an argument I think of all the clever stuff I should have said.
  17. If someone ever tells you “we need to talk” they dont care about anything you have to say.
  18. When you’re asked “How are you?” and you respond with anything but “good” it always becomes awkward.
  19. When people ask me for music or movie suggestions, I always give them crappy one’s, so that way they’ll never come to me for advice again.
  20. The only reason my heart appears cold and black is because I have my real heart locked in an indestrucible black heart shaped box and cryogenically frozen to prevent further damage.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

Adorable Dog Mustache:

Mustache Dog

That’s all natural, baby! Check him out as a puppy. Adorbs!

The Crazy Canadian Border Visualized:

Wow, didn’t find out about this in history class. If you thought that was utterly fascinating (whether you’re American or Canadian) please share!

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