Make Monday count, share these…
20 Laughable Facebook Statuses:
- They say that money can’t buy you happiness, but being broke buys you nothing…
- Do you know? U and I are placed together on the keyboard forever.
- Whenever I get low on money I always start thinking really irrationally like what if I hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2003.
- 2015 is only 5 months away, just let that sink in.
- Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
- If your lawyer has a ponytail, you’re going to jail.
- No one is more Hispanic than a Hispanic female news anchor saying her own name.
- Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
- I’ve robbed banks before…and they’re never getting their pens back.
- At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
- Don’t text and drive. Just pull over until you’re done using your phone. That’s what I do. I’ve been on the side of the road since 2011.
- I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
- Where there are pants, There is sadness. Such is Monday.
- When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
- If you zoom into the background on your selfies you can see your dignity disappearing into the distance.
- Fun fact: Facebook gamers are the Jehovah’s witnesses of the gaming world.
- If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
- Please leave your name, number, and as long as I’m making demands, your best rendition of the “I Believe I Can Fly”
- Walmart…because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
- I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
Corgi Vs. Spoon…
Ears so big and legs so tiny… soooo cute 🙂
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