Corgi Vs. Spoon, Crazy Slide, and 20 Laughable Facebook Statuses

Make Monday count, share these…

20 Laughable Facebook Statuses:

  1. They say that money can’t buy you happiness, but being broke buys you nothing…
  2. Do you know? U and I are placed together on the keyboard forever.
  3. Whenever I get low on money I always start thinking really irrationally like what if I hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2003.
  4. 2015 is only 5 months away, just let that sink in.
  5. Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
  6. If your lawyer has a ponytail, you’re going to jail.
  7. No one is more Hispanic than a Hispanic female news anchor saying her own name.
  8. Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
  9. I’ve robbed banks before…and they’re never getting their pens back.
  10. At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
  11. Don’t text and drive. Just pull over until you’re done using your phone. That’s what I do. I’ve been on the side of the road since 2011.
  12. I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
  13. Where there are pants, There is sadness. Such is Monday.
  14. When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
  15. If you zoom into the background on your selfies you can see your dignity disappearing into the distance.
  16. Fun fact: Facebook gamers are the Jehovah’s witnesses of the gaming world.
  17. If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
  18. Please leave your name, number, and as long as I’m making demands, your best rendition of the “I Believe I Can Fly”
  19. Walmart…because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
  20. I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Corgi Vs. Spoon…


Ears so big and legs so tiny… soooo cute 🙂

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