Cookies, Little Girl Falls on Ice, and 20 Clever Facebook Status Posts

Make someones Monday, share one of these…

20 Clever Facebook Status Posts:

  1. Only 3 things can make me go running. When someone yells,”Fire!”, “Free Food!”, or”The free food’s on fire!”
  2. Goals for 2015: less upsetti, more spaghetti.
  3. When I’m at home, NSFW stands for Not Safe For Wife.
  4. Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
  5. I’m glad I don’t have to hunt for my food, I don’t even know where Sandwiches live.
  6. You don’t just have issues. You have a subscription.
  7. When the clock was first invented, somebody probably called it a time machine.
  8. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. That’s why I don’t go out there. I stay in here where it’s a man-eat-chocolate-cake world.
  9. You’re only your own worst critic until we become friends.
  10. The game “f*ck, marry, kill” could also be called “fork, spoon, knife”.
  11. Everyone is hiding their naked body from us. Our goal is to find someone and convince them stop.
  12. Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
  13. Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
  14. There is a company called Kia and a company called Nokia. I’m not sure who to believe.
  15. Will Ferrell and Pharrell Williams are pretty much opposites.
  16. What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
  17. Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos..
  18. 99.999% of people alive 500 years ago have been completely forgotten with no trace that they ever existed.
  19. Whoever coined the phrase “when shit hits the fan” must have seen some strange things in their life.
  20. They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Little Girl Experiences Ice For The First Time:

Dawwwwww, I can’t handle it! That was the cutest thing ever!!! Please feel free to like or share if you think it’s too cute not to share!

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