Happy Friday, share something good…
21 Hilarious Facebook Status Updates:
- There is a time and a place for decaf coffee…. Never and in the trash.
- Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
- I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
- Girl messes up guy’s hair = cute. Guy messes up girl’s hair = death.
- That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated.
- People don’t even say grace before meals anymore . They just hold their phone over the plate, take a picture, & then upload it to Instagram.
- Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Other times we just snuggle…
- There’s a special place in Hell for people who call to see if you got their email!
- Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
- Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
- When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & then just leave!
- I walk away from auto-flush toilets like movie stars walk away from explosions…
- You suddenly realize that you’re all grown up that moment when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kicking it under the fridge.
- How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
- I’m so disappointed that a group of squid isn’t called a squad!
- That awkward moment when you make a Star Wars reference in a conversation and the other person doesn’t get it.
- How long after walking into someone’s house is it acceptable to ask for their wifi password?
- I count it as a random act of kindness when you see me in public and pretend you didn’t.
- When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
- Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
- They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhh” when you plug it in….
Shy Dog Wants Watermelon…
Just give him the Watermelon!!!!