Clicking KittEh, Monopoly, and Best Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

20 of the Best Status Updates from this week:

  1. I’m doing what I’ve always done. Learning from the mistakes of others who take my advice.
  2. There’s a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it’s called alcohol.
  3. How many times do I have to roll my eyes to burn any calories?
  4. I’ve been poor and happy and now I’m ready to be rich and miserable. Gimme!
  5. She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
  6. Study shows women are less likely to keep their cars clean. Yeah, because we don’t need a clean car to get laid.
  7. I’m going to Hell. Anybody want anything?
  8. Excuse me, stewardess. If my seat can be used as a flotation device, which of these other seats can be used as a parachute?
  9. The future is that time when you’ll wish you’d done what you aren’t doing now.
  10. If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
  11. There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
  12. I wasn’t crying. Sometimes my eyes water because I’m allergic to emotions.
  13. Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.
  14. I tried, I really did. I threw my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn’t care. It’s not working!
  15. I put the PRO in inappropriate!
  16. I’m being followed by a gym. I don’t think it’s going to work out.
  17. It’s interesting that people always want to tell you their age when they’re either under the age of 10 or over the age of 65.
  18. You know you’re invisible when the automatic faucet rejects you.
  19. Fake nice is worse than really mean.
  20. Clapping was invented by white people at concerts, because we have no idea what to do with our hands when we dance.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

KittEhh Go Klick-Klick…


Cute! Share if you enjoyed!

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