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Funny Statuses for Facebook:
- That awkward moment when someone isn’t texting you back and then you see them update their status from mobile. ( 100K+ Statuses: Funny Status 2 5★ Ratings)
- Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
- Be that Shopping Cart with the bad wheel. Go in your own direction no matter how hard someone try’s to push you in theirs.
- It’s not a nap if you never got out of bed.
- Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
- I just finished reading “50 shades of Grey” by Sherwin Williams. I don’t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
- Sometimes I put my hands on the floor, tuck my head into my chest and lean forward, cause that’s how I roll.
- 1 pillow is too low, but 2 pillows is too high. #FirstWorldProblems (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
- Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus.
- I’m so jealous! Your swag is gonna look amazing on that McDonald’s application.
- If intelligent people don’t start having babies as fast as the trash in “honey boo boo”, we’re headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
- I need an app that just screams “Put the phone down and go do something, idiot!” whenever I pick my phone up.
- The best password cracking software is called a pissed off ex.
- If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people. (Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
- I hate when girls see each other outside of work or school and scream and make these noises that only dolphins could understand.
Funny Status of the Week:
Well done, sir! You’ve made the Funny Status Update of the Week.
Dog Sounds Like Chewbacca:
90% Cute 5% awesome 5% weird. Share this viral video before it explodes onto the inter webs. Comments, likes, and karma will fall your way.
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