Make your weekend last longer, share these…
Top 20 Weekend Status Updates:
- Trying to remain humble but I’m the most famous person in my living room right now.
- I’m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
- You know nothing about a woman until she’s drunk and mad at you
- Watching Netflix before going to bed is the adult equivalent of being read a bedtime story.
- You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
- Proper grammar makes you way more attractive.
- Condoms: 99% effective. Birth control pills: 99% effective. Crocs: 110% effective.
- “Hey, it’s been 30 seconds, go check your phone again.” – My Brain
- What did the mermaid wear to her math class? An algae bra.
- I can’t commit to making a commitment or not making a commitment or deciding not to even decide to make a commitment.
- Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
- You know that garbage can right next to Oscar the Grouch’s garbage can? That’s where he takes the ladies.
- I still think Perez Hilton getting tasered would be the most watched YouTube video of all time.
- I’m so athletic. I surf… the internet.
- Do you want to be right or happy?
- Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
- Skinny jeans should not have pockets.
- Fortune cookie: Some good things will happen to you and then some bad things will happen. It’ll pretty much continue like this until you die.
- Ever want to go up to a stranger and say “please don’t wear that in public”
- Don’t make me use UPPERCASE.
Thought they looked familiar…
Yup, that’s about right 😉
It literally sounds like Chewie! I want one 🙂 Share if you enjoyed!