Cell Phone Crashing, Be Yourself, & 20 Ridiculous Facebook Status Updates

Hey, at least it’s almost Friday. Make someones day, share one of these..

20 Ridiculous Facebook Status Updates:

  1. I need a hug and six months of sleep.
  2. Sure, your prince might come. But just in case he doesn’t, God created wine.
  3. I’m sorry I went into survival mode when you tickled me.
  4. Sometimes I use big words that I don’t fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
  5. Do you ever think about shit you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
  6. Few things turn me on like good grammar.
  7. There’s a big difference between being anti-social and just not fucking with people who are full of shit.
  8. I’m a proud advocate of messy hair and sweatpants.
  9. If you believe you can go in the bouncy castle, then you CAN go in the bouncy castle.
  10. No one is ever “just kidding”.
  11. Anything you can do, I can do better. Unless it’s being an idiot. In that case, you win.
  12. Do you ever just think about the first time you met someone and compare it to where you guys are now and it’s like damn who knew this would happen?
  13. Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding.
  14. I’m happy as long as I’m not hungry.
  15. Netflix may be the most long-term relationship I’ve ever had.
  16. You’re ridiculous. Want to be best friends?
  17. I like my coffee like I like my oxygen – CONSTANT.
  18. Never let anyone tell you you’re too young to do something. A baby shark is still a f*cking shark.
  19. Aaaaand I’m already over this day.
  20. Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Be yourself, make your own decisions.

Posted by Witty Hilarious and Ridiculously Funny Status Updates on Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Cell Phone Crashing (Best Prank Ever!) :


Let’s get this out of the way. It was funny this ONE time. That doesn’t mean you go out there and recreate it kids, because that’s just annoying. But, the video – that’s hilarious 🙂

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