Fresh, Funny, and Awesome stuff for your Facebook wall…
Funny Status Updates:
- I remember that one time, before Facebook, when I went outside and did stuff. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
I need to either get a new air conditioner or move into my refrigerator.
- The easiest way to get me to stop correcting you is for you to just stop being wrong.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jerks.
- Broccoli: “I look like a tree.” Walnut: “I look like a brain.” Mushroom: “I look like an umbrella.” Banana: “Dude?! Change the topic!”
- We spent our whole youth to obtain wealth and our whole wealth to obtain youth. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Facebook. The brain laxative.
I’m always careful to get something every day from the four basic food groups: canned, frozen, fast and takeout.
- Cheese is like a villain from a horror movie: Whatever you do to it only makes it stronger. Shred it? Better. Slice it? Better. Melt it? Perfection.
People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it.
It’s what people don’t know about each other that makes them such good friends.
A smile is like tight underwear…it makes your cheeks go up.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled like.
Honking the whole time isn’t going to make everyone in front of you go any faster. Stupid geese. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff)
I would emailed sooner, but my cat ate my mouse.
Thousands More Funny Status Updates…
Relationship Status: Commitment doesn’t scare me, the thought of committing to the wrong person does.
LOL! Post that one on your Facebook wall for some great comments!
Will Smith Goes Unplugged:
So awesome! Who doesn’t love Will Smith?
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