Celebrities Stuck in Traffic, Worst Part of Breaking Up, and 20 Priceless Status Updates

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It’s Thanksgiving Week, make your friends laugh, share one of these…

Not every “sorry” deserves an “it’s okay” in return.
Being a male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, but being a gentleman is a matter of choice.
That awkward moment when you really want to talk to someone, but don’t know how to continue the conversation.
It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.
Mentally I am ready for Christmas, financially I am not ready for Christmas.
I don’t understand how someone has 20+ bridesmaids. I don’t even like that many people.
Getting out of bed was my worst mistake today.
I am the most stressed out laziest person ever, I don’t even know how I do it.
*tries to watch 45 minutes episode in 20 minutes*
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.
College: the craziest thing I’ve ever done for money.
Don’t just tell her she is beautiful, make her believe it. Then slap her ass and tell her to keep up the good f*cking work.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
Sometimes I wish I could just fast forward through time just to see if it’s all worth it in the end.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
whats_up.doc
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”