Cat Steals Dog Beds, Real Food Pyramid, and Humorous Statuses

Twenty new statuses, every.darn.day.

Humorous Facebook Status Updates:

1. I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
2. That awkward moment when you’re on an embarrassing website and your computer freezes.
3. In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
4. There are two things in life that as soon as you finish, you can’t wait to do again…sleeping and sex.
5. Be strong, I whispered to my wifi signal.
6. We definitely need 3 weekends in a week.
7. They could of at least added a middle finger emoji on iOS7.
8. There are two types of people in this world.
   People that pee in the shower, and liars.
9. I’m quite confident that the reason I’m single is because I didn’t forward that chain letter in 2003.
10. I haven’t used algebra in 3x-q years.
11. Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
12. I’d care more about your feelings if they were dipped in chocolate.
13. Reality is overrated.
14. You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
15. I don’t drink about you anymore.
16. Life experiences are like quarters, you lose both when you are sitting around on the couch.
17. Either my shirt shrunk in the wash or, a more likely reason, those four push-ups per day have made me a BEAST.
18. You only fail when you give up.
19. Everyone has three lives: their public life, private life, and secret life.
20. Can’t wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

The REAL Food Pyramid…

Ain’t that the truth!

Cat Steals Dog Beds:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovWqEtVVUFs[/youtube]

LOL! Poor puppies 🙂