Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…
20 Interesting Statuses for the Weekend:
- I love when strangers smile at me and I smile back and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.
- When people ask me if I’m working hard or hardly working, I wanna punch them in the face and ask if they’re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
- My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.
- I’ve got a better chance finding a unicorn than I do of going through an entire day without dealing with some jackass.
- A lot of you lose your shit and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
- I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you … even you.
- Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
- Whenever people start getting too close to me I talk into my watch as I hold eye contact with them.
- Computer technology used to be a lot tougher. Back when I was a kid, mice had balls.
- It’s so crazy how being tickled can go from fun to torture in a matter of seconds.
- Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.
- Oh you’re a bad bitch? You have no job, a brokeass car and live off food stamps?! Big difference, you aren’t a bad bitch ..you’re doing bad, bitch.
- Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
- No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
- Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
- One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? Inspirational posts are hard.
- Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that ‘People are more interested in others life than their own’.
- About to say, out loud, a word I’ve only seen in print. Wish me luck.
- The harder you slam your weights down at the gym, the smaller your d*ck is.
- Dear Facebook friends, If you want me to recognize you in public, try to walk around with the same pose you did for your profile picture.
Cat Mosh Pit…
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEzzxx2g5sM[/youtube]
Saw that and thought of you 😛
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