Cat Mosh Pit, Money Helps, and Interesting Statuses

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…

20 Interesting Statuses for the Weekend:

  1. I love when strangers smile at me and I smile back and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.
  2. When people ask me if I’m working hard or hardly working, I wanna punch them in the face and ask if they’re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
  3. My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.
  4. I’ve got a better chance finding a unicorn than I do of going through an entire day without dealing with some jackass.
  5. A lot of you lose your shit and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
  6. I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you … even you.
  7. Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
  8. Whenever people start getting too close to me I talk into my watch as I hold eye contact with them.
  9. Computer technology used to be a lot tougher. Back when I was a kid, mice had balls.
  10. It’s so crazy how being tickled can go from fun to torture in a matter of seconds.
  11. Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.
  12. Oh you’re a bad bitch? You have no job, a brokeass car and live off food stamps?! Big difference, you aren’t a bad bitch’re doing bad, bitch.
  13. Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
  14. No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
  15. Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
  16. One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? Inspirational posts are hard.
  17. Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that ‘People are more interested in others life than their own’.
  18. About to say, out loud, a word I’ve only seen in print. Wish me luck.
  19. The harder you slam your weights down at the gym, the smaller your d*ck is.
  20. Dear Facebook friends, If you want me to recognize you in public, try to walk around with the same pose you did for your profile picture.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Cat Mosh Pit…


Saw that and thought of you 😛

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