Elbow Hurts, Cat Meets Tigers, & 20 Hilarious Facebook Statuses

Get through Tuesday, share one of these…

20 Hilarious Facebook Statuses:

  1. Next time you’re feeling down about something, just think about the kid who got benched so Air Bud could play.
  2. I’m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.
  3. Know why girls cross their arms when they’re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who’s in charge around here.
  4. Face: “You’re ugly”
    Body: “You’re fat”
    Brain: “You’re stupid”
    Life: “You suck”
    Food: “Come here babe, you’ll be happy with me”
  5. I got a blank space baby and I’ll write your name (even though I did the whole group project).
  6. Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
  7. My life is kind of like when you’re about to sneeze and then you don’t..
  8. I’m single but it’s serious.
  9. Every pizza has the potential to be a personal pizza if you believe in yourself.
  10. Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know, like Tuesday.
  11. I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
  12. I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
  13. It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
  14. My high school girlfriend got “uses her kids as her facebook profile picture” fat.
  15. Don’t half ass anything. F*ck it up all the way.
  16. There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
  17. Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cupcakes.
  18. Can I take a sick day if I’m just sick of work?
  19. I haven’t had coffee yet, so you don’t exist.
  20. I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

This happens whenever I search for any minor illness.

Posted by Witty Hilarious and Ridiculously Funny Status Updates on Monday, March 30, 2015

Cat Meets Tigers..

Bub the little cat was able startle the tiger. How funny is that?!? So cute, pls feel free to like/share if you enjoyed.

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