Make your friends day, share these…
Happy Facebook Status Updates:
- Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
- The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
- The guy who invented the backseat-windows-can-only-roll-down-halfway feature really overlooked the fact that no one would want that feature.
- I’m not hiding anything, but stop looking at my phone while I’m texting.
- A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if you’re going to get screwed.
- Dude, if you’re driving a $300,000 Rolls Royce, you don’t need a vanity plate. We get it already.
- A watched pot never boils. But an unwatched pot boils dry and burns. Is there a happy medium?
- The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
- The heart is the center of the body but beats on the left. Maybe that’s the reason the heart is not always right.
- If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
- Making a new website “WorksTube” it’s just like Youtube but, it actually works. Who’s with me?
- I’m giving you my opinion, not telling you you’re wrong.
- Yelling something inappropriate when your friend is on the phone with their parents.
- I hate the phrase “kids will be kids” I think it should be replaced with “Bad Parenting results in little jerks”
- All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
- Annoyed is just anger for whimps.
- This whole grown up thing was fun, but I’m ready to go back now.
- If I ever get a llama, I’m totally naming it Dalai.
- You know how schools collect soup labels and stuff to raise money? They should put that on beer cans. Millions would be raised.
- If one night a big fat man jumps in your window grabs you and puts you in a sack… don’t worry, I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas 😉
Cat Jump Fail
ROFL! That was hilarious 🙂 Glad the little guy isn’t hurt, but ya, that was hilarious! Share if you enjoyed.