Cat Brushes Teeth, 2 Kinds of People, and 20 Great Facebook Posts.

These made me laugh, hope they do for you too..

20 Great Facebook Posts:

  1. That awkward moment when you plan a conversation in your head before asking someone for something.
  2. Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she’s laughing at your junk.
  3. If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.
  4. Movie idea: Freaky Friday2015: Your LinkedIn profile and your Tinder profile accidentally switch places.
  5. Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
  6. It’s high time we change the name of the Indian Ocean to Native American Ocean.
  7. “You the bomb” “No you the bomb” Kind gesture in America. Argument in the Middle East.
  8. My mind was blown when I realized “OK” is a sideways person.
  9. While most people are getting more invested in relationships, I’m getting more invested in shows on Netflix.
  10. Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
  11. Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn’t have said out loud.
  12. My wife and I are dieting now… and by dieting, I mean we’re not telling each other about the junk food we eat.
  13. Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
  14. The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
  15. “Know what would look good on you? Nothing.” Is both an insult and a compliment.
  16. The phrase “Do go on” contains 3 different pronunciations of the letter ‘o’
  17. There should be a movie rating based on how awkward it would be to watch with your parents.
  18. If Netflix had a “I don’t want to watch this movie. Ever” option, its recommendations would be much better.
  19. Thank God everyone agrees on the color of traffic lights.
  20. If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!”

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Cat Brushes Teeth..


Needless to say his mind was blown. That was hilarious! Like/Share if you’d like 😉

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App.