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Status Updates for a Monday:
- So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
- Why do parents feel the need to hold your phone when showing them a picture?
- I only have like 2 or 3 real friends, the others are just people I socialize with.
- That moment in between netflix episodes when you see your reflection on the black screen and wonder what you are doing with your life.
- Wish I was simple and cute but instead I’m sarcastic and annoying.
- Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
- If a dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
- This year, I’m gonna put mistletoe on my ass and let everyone just figure it out.
- Wine may not solve all your problems, but neither will water.
- That awkward moment when you step out of the shower and then realize there’s no towel.
- You seem to really give a f*ck about letting the whole internet know you don’t give a f*ck.
- Did you know you can add “boom” to the end of any sentence and it’s immediately awesome and you’re amazing? Boom.
- It’s beginning to look a lot like f*ck this.
- It may be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I’m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
- How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
- Sometimes Canadians fistfight over who is more sorry.
- Winter needs to calm the f*ck down.
- Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
- If I were the guy who made the Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.
- I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
Rottweiler Loves Cat:
Kitty unsure of relationship.
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