Make the weekend last longer, share these…
20 Clever Status Updates for Facebook:
- This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
- If you choose to always make it all about you, that’s precisely who you’ll end up with.
- That awkward moment when your awkwardly standing there while your friend talks to people you don’t know.
- I’m sorry…I didn’t recognize you without your Instagram filter.
- Cell phones keep getting thinner and smarter…people, the opposite.
- It takes so much self control for me not to write, “you sure about that?” under Facebook engagement announcements.
- I spilled my Pumpkin Spice Latte, and now a bunch of ants are making brunch plans and doing yoga.
- Newton’s third law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
- I judge how safe an area is by the number of lit letters on the Waffle House sign.
- What idiot decided it should be my foot’s asleep instead of coma toes?
- Apple’s google glass knockoff attaches a small screen on a frame above your eyes, and it will be called iBrowse.
- I like to hide condom wrappers in my married friends pockets.
- Some days I think Forrest had the right idea when he dropped everything and just kept running.
- People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
- If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with assholes”
- Every scary movie, for the rest of our lives, needs a scene explaining why no one has their cell phone.
- 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian Roulette.
- I bet you if you pressure your child into becoming a drug addicted, alcoholic gang banger, they will disappoint you and become a doctor.
- Why is it that flies can get in your car so easy, but can’t figure out how to escape with all the windows down?
- How many HA’s equal a LOL? How about a LMAO? Is there a conversion chart somewhere?
Frenchie Argues Against Bedtime…
So Cute! Share if you’d like 😛