Big Rawr, Cat Logic, and 20 Creative Facebook Status Posts

Get over hump day, share these…

Creative Facebook Status Posts:

  1. Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
  2. The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
  3. If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
  4. It’s only a matter of time before they add the word “syndrome” after my last name.
  5. * packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip
    * unpacks 3 months after coming home
  6. Who wants to build a fort and hide until our problems go away?
  7. I’ll leave 1,000 dollars in my will to the person comes to my funeral dressed in the Scream outfit and doesn’t say a word
  8. I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
  9. That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated.
  10. My refrigerator just walked to my bedroom, opened the door, stood there and stared at me for five minutes, then it closed the door and left.
  11. Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain 3.) prisoner of war 4.) homeless person 5.) wizard
  12. I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
  13. You’d think the crescent roll’s packages would have a warning like: May blow your hand off if opened correctly.
  14. I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”
  15. If someone will fund it, I’ll go to the rainforest and just lick stuff until I find a cool new drug.
  16. I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
  17. If they just built prisons out of the shit they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
  18. A couple approaches on the beach. He calls her “Allison.” I write, “Marry me, Allison,” in the sand and hide. And now we wait.
  19. When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn’t doing the same thing.
  20. If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Goat Gives it all he’s got….

Dat’ll do, Goat… Dat’ll dew!

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