Get over hump day, share these…
Creative Facebook Status Posts:
- Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
- The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
- If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
- It’s only a matter of time before they add the word “syndrome” after my last name.
- * packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip
* unpacks 3 months after coming home
- Who wants to build a fort and hide until our problems go away?
- I’ll leave 1,000 dollars in my will to the person comes to my funeral dressed in the Scream outfit and doesn’t say a word
- I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
- That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated.
- My refrigerator just walked to my bedroom, opened the door, stood there and stared at me for five minutes, then it closed the door and left.
- Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain 3.) prisoner of war 4.) homeless person 5.) wizard
- I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
- You’d think the crescent roll’s packages would have a warning like: May blow your hand off if opened correctly.
- I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”
- If someone will fund it, I’ll go to the rainforest and just lick stuff until I find a cool new drug.
- I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
- If they just built prisons out of the shit they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
- A couple approaches on the beach. He calls her “Allison.” I write, “Marry me, Allison,” in the sand and hide. And now we wait.
- When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn’t doing the same thing.
- If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”
Goat Gives it all he’s got….
Dat’ll do, Goat… Dat’ll dew!
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.