Beyonce Fan, Standing Cats, & 19 Funny Statuses

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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen. (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. Why do people feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’M GOING TO KILL.. Ah darn he’s under a blanket”
  3. Don’t you think it’s time we stopped blaming our problems on people in our past and started blaming them on people in the future?
  4. Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
  5. I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  6. If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn’t succeed either.
  7. Don’t kid yourself, we know you’re not “offline” on Facebook chat.
  8. When you hear your own voice recorded and think…”omg I sound horrible..”
  9. I’ve always wanted to get into a cab and yell “Follow that car!!!!”
  10. The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button. (239+Likes in 13 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  11. Only true friends go straight to your fridge when they go to your house.
  12. It’s easy to spot people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
  13. The thing that sucks about chilling with friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone & know how little I answer their texts.
  14. I don’t trust my shrink anymore. First, he tells me to speak freely, then he charges me for listening.
  15. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
  16. Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
  17. Dear Millionaires, if you don’t have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because you’re spending it wrong.
  18. Saying “Thats crazy” when you haven’t been listening to someone. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  19. All answers questioned here.


Standing Cats


A little bit scary and a little bit awesome. Post on your Facebook wall and see what your friends think 🙂

Beyonce lets a fan sing, hilarious…


Hahah! How great was that?!? Share that video with your FB friends to get a ton of comments & LIKEs!

Craving more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our *NEW* Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!