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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen. (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
- Why do people feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’M GOING TO KILL.. Ah darn he’s under a blanket”
- Don’t you think it’s time we stopped blaming our problems on people in our past and started blaming them on people in the future?
- Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
- I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
- If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn’t succeed either.
- Don’t kid yourself, we know you’re not “offline” on Facebook chat.
- When you hear your own voice recorded and think…”omg I sound horrible..”
- I’ve always wanted to get into a cab and yell “Follow that car!!!!”
- The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button. (239+Likes in 13 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Only true friends go straight to your fridge when they go to your house.
- It’s easy to spot people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
- The thing that sucks about chilling with friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone & know how little I answer their texts.
- I don’t trust my shrink anymore. First, he tells me to speak freely, then he charges me for listening.
- In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
- Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
- Dear Millionaires, if you don’t have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because you’re spending it wrong.
- Saying “Thats crazy” when you haven’t been listening to someone. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
- All answers questioned here.
A little bit scary and a little bit awesome. Post on your Facebook wall and see what your friends think 🙂
Beyonce lets a fan sing, hilarious…
Hahah! How great was that?!? Share that video with your FB friends to get a ton of comments & LIKEs!