100 years, Women Spend, & 20 Best Weekend Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these..

20 Best Weekend Status Updates:

  1. Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
  2. Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in you’ll disappear.
  3. Everyone tells teenagers that they don’t know what love is. But everyone wants to feel like a teenager when they fall in love.
  4. That moment when you flex your foot wrong and it cramps, and you think “This is it…this is how it ends.”
  5. I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my birthday and when it’s not my birthday.
  6. I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
  7. I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
  8. A cactus is really just an aggressive cucumber.
  9. Homeless people are the ultimate proof that ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away.
  10. If you win a one year’s supply of calendars, you just get one calendar.
  11. My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
  12. There are creatures who live out their entire life-cycles in my gut. All they know or will ever will know of the universe is the insides of my intestines. It’s not pretty down there.
  13. That one guy 10,000 years ago who was born with the first set of blue eyes must have gotten laid so much.
  14. Cells multiply by dividing.
  15. The government is far more likely to read one of your emails if you don’t send it to the government.
  16. If you’re 24 years old and sleep 8 hours a day. That means you’ve been asleep for 8 years of your life.
  17. As grandma used to say, “stop being a whiny little bitch and eat the f*cking gluten”.
  18. I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, will, read, this, like William, Shatner.
  19. Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
  20. If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.

Funny Pics | Gifs | VideosYesterdays Status Updates

Women spend..

Women Spend

This is pretty much accurate.

100 Years of Aging, In One Day..

I admit, when he tells her how much she means to him, I shed a tear.

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page. We’ll see you back on Monday with more funny statuses!