Make your weekend last longer, share one of these..
20 Best Weekend Status Updates:
- Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
- Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in you’ll disappear.
- Everyone tells teenagers that they don’t know what love is. But everyone wants to feel like a teenager when they fall in love.
- That moment when you flex your foot wrong and it cramps, and you think “This is it…this is how it ends.”
- I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my birthday and when it’s not my birthday.
- I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
- I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
- A cactus is really just an aggressive cucumber.
- Homeless people are the ultimate proof that ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away.
- If you win a one year’s supply of calendars, you just get one calendar.
- My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
- There are creatures who live out their entire life-cycles in my gut. All they know or will ever will know of the universe is the insides of my intestines. It’s not pretty down there.
- That one guy 10,000 years ago who was born with the first set of blue eyes must have gotten laid so much.
- Cells multiply by dividing.
- The government is far more likely to read one of your emails if you don’t send it to the government.
- If you’re 24 years old and sleep 8 hours a day. That means you’ve been asleep for 8 years of your life.
- As grandma used to say, “stop being a whiny little bitch and eat the f*cking gluten”.
- I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, will, read, this, like William, Shatner.
- Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
- If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
This is pretty much accurate.
100 Years of Aging, In One Day..
I admit, when he tells her how much she means to him, I shed a tear.
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page. We’ll see you back on Monday with more funny statuses!